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Angels Across the USA Blog

The High Cost of Expectations

There is truth in the adage “expectations are planned disappointments.”  If there is one thing grief has taught me, it is the only thing you can honestly expect is the unexpected.  Most of us understand this, yet we continue to get blindsided by expectations, both negative and positive.  We continue to pay a high price for having expectations.
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“How to be UN-Helpful to a Grieving Person”

The title of this blog is NOT a misprint. Many articles have been written about how to help those going through grief, for some reason there are still a lot of people who don’t get it. I thought it might be fun to write a 10-point-guide for those wanting to be ---- the least helpful, the least supportive and as ineffective as possible to someone going through a loss. I think I covered most of the finer points here, but feel free to add to the list if you feel I have missed something.
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Find Your Chili

Without a doubt, the most often asked question of me over the years in media interviews has been … “Alan, how does someone survive a tragic loss?”  This difficult question deserves a thorough and well thought out answer … I soon discovered however that reporters were not going to give me the needed time or space to expound about all that it takes to survive the unimaginable. So, I decided I needed a quick and easy answer to this complex question … and so my reply simply became; “educate yo...
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Who am I Now?

I am often asked by grieving people for my advice about “who am I now” after my loss?  If my child died am I a father? If my husband died am I a wife? If my sibling died am I still a sister or brother?  
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I Am A Grieving Parent

I am a grieving parent. My child died nearly 17 years ago. Most people would expect all the unfinished business and emotion surrounding her death would have long since resolved itself and been settled. They would be wrong.
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Compassion vs. Comparison

The other day I was brought into a discussion by a father and daughter about whose loss is “greater” surrounding the death of his 21-year-old son and her brother. They both wanted my opinion, and so I gave it to them.
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Grief Is Like Shopping at JC Penney’s

Grief is Like Shopping at JC Penney’s – Whoever created their pricing system at Penney’s must be an evil mathematician. So, how is shopping at Penney’s like grief?
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