From My Heart – 11/11 is more than just my number! 11/11 holds great significance for me … these numbers have been my Ashley guide post through much of my grief and ministry of The Angels Across the USA … I have 111 tattooed on my left arm and 11:11 on my right arm ... Oh the stories I could tell you about these numbers … but we will save that for the book.

Last week in Iowa, a woman came up to me after my event with a burning question. She wondered; “will people always say dumb things to me?” “Sadly,” I replied “people who have not experienced a similar loss will likely always say things that irritate or hurt you.” I then proceeded to tell her my theory.

It’s MY grief … It’s MY rules!  There is something extremely empowering about proclaiming and living by those words.  Over the years I have shared this message with tens of thousands of grievers on the importance of being as proactive as possible on your grief journey.  When we strongly hold the position that nobody understands our loss and the unique relationship of that loss more that we ourselves do, we learn to trust our instincts and make choices that help find the best possible path for...

If someone had told me early in my grief journey that one day I would write a blog about gifts in grief, I would have thought they were crazy.  First of all, when Ashley died in 2001, I didn’t know what a blog was, so there’s that.  But, the mere thought that I could get to a place where I could write in any forum about the topic of gifts and grief would have seemed ludicrous.  In those early months of grief, I could see nothing but endless sorrow, pain and hopelessness.

No, this is not a misprint. After Ashley died she became perfect … if you don’t believe me just ask her brothers who confronted me a couple of years after her death.  They explained how impossible it had become to live up to their sister’s angelic memories which had become the exclusive focus of my stories about her and how I represented her to the world.  From their perspective, I had lost perspective of who Ashley was.  

If you enjoy dirty looks, a sure way to garner an angry glance or start an argument is to tell a grieving person “time heals all wounds”.  When it comes to the topic of loss, no two words in the English language are used more frequently together in the same sentence than time and grief.

We all have them … That song, that scent, the cereal aisle, that color, that season, that holiday, that flower … that “anything at all” which immediately takes us back to a place of raw grief. The professionals like to call them triggers and tell us these experiences are just a normal part of the grieving process. But, you and I know, because they often come out-of-the-blue and at the most inopportune times, triggers or the anxiety surrounding them are a challenging aspect of managing our ...

It took me a few years to come to the party regarding giving validity to signs from those we love who have died. Growing up in conservative Christianity, it was pretty well ingrained in me that to entertain such things was akin to dancing with the devil. Not that the devil and I hadn’t done several tangos over the years and possibly even a slow dance or two. When I would hear people tell of signs, I chalked it up to randomness or fate and their desperation to find any type of connection. I ...

In my 16 years writing and speaking on the subject of finding hope and healing after loss, one topic more than any other seems to resonate with grieving people I have met.  Most wrestle at some level with feelings of guilt and regret.  I would be included in that group of people as Ashley’s death left me with many unfinished emotional issues which were holding me back in my grief journey.

Grief is Like Shopping at JC Penney’s – Whoever created their pricing system at Penney’s must be an evil mathematician. So, how is shopping at Penney’s like grief?