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Angels Across the USA Blog

Time and Grief?

If you enjoy dirty looks, a sure way to garner an angry glance or start an argument is to tell a grieving person “time heals all wounds”.  When it comes to the topic of loss, no two words in the English language are used more frequently together in the same sentence than time and grief.
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Grief Triggers

We all have them … That song, that scent, the cereal aisle, that color, that season, that holiday, that flower … that “anything at all” which immediately takes us back to a place of raw grief. The professionals like to call them triggers and tell us these experiences are just a normal part of the grieving process. But, you and I know, because they often come out-of-the-blue and at the most inopportune times, triggers or the anxiety surrounding them are a challenging aspect of managing our ...
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Signs From Our Loved Ones

It took me a few years to come to the party regarding giving validity to signs from those we love who have died. Growing up in conservative Christianity, it was pretty well ingrained in me that to entertain such things was akin to dancing with the devil. Not that the devil and I hadn’t done several tangos over the years and possibly even a slow dance or two. When I would hear people tell of signs, I chalked it up to randomness or fate and their desperation to find any type of connection. I ...
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Guilt and Regret in Grief

In my 16 years writing and speaking on the subject of finding hope and healing after loss, one topic more than any other seems to resonate with grieving people I have met.  Most wrestle at some level with feelings of guilt and regret.  I would be included in that group of people as Ashley’s death left me with many unfinished emotional issues which were holding me back in my grief journey.
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Grief Is Like Shopping at JC Penney’s

Grief is Like Shopping at JC Penney’s – Whoever created their pricing system at Penney’s must be an evil mathematician. So, how is shopping at Penney’s like grief?
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The High Cost of Expectations

There is truth in the adage “expectations are planned disappointments.”  If there is one thing grief has taught me, it is the only thing you can honestly expect is the unexpected.  Most of us understand this, yet we continue to get blindsided by expectations, both negative and positive.  We continue to pay a high price for having expectations.
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“How to be UN-Helpful to a Grieving Person”

The title of this blog is NOT a misprint. Many articles have been written about how to help those going through grief, for some reason there are still a lot of people who don’t get it. I thought it might be fun to write a 10-point-guide for those wanting to be ---- the least helpful, the least supportive and as ineffective as possible to someone going through a loss. I think I covered most of the finer points here, but feel free to add to the list if you feel I have missed something.
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Find Your Chili

Without a doubt, the most often asked question of me over the years in media interviews has been … “Alan, how does someone survive a tragic loss?”  This difficult question deserves a thorough and well thought out answer … I soon discovered however that reporters were not going to give me the needed time or space to expound about all that it takes to survive the unimaginable. So, I decided I needed a quick and easy answer to this complex question … and so my reply simply became; “educate yo...
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